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URINE SAMPLE..........................

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack said to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts terribly. I guess I had better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replied. "There's a diagnostic computer at the corner drugstore. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars....heckof a lot cheaper than a doctor!"

So Jack collected a urine sample in a small jar and took it to the drugstore. When he deposited his ten dollars, the computer lit up and asked for the urine sample. He poured the sample into a funnel and waited.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejected a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurried back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer printed out the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo
. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Your Volvo needs rings.
6. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

This one will help u in near future..

I had VODKA with WATER I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER I felt DRUNK.
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the World seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u an eye specialist !!

I wrote ur name on the sands.............it got washed away,I wrote ur name in air..........................it got blown away,So i wrote ur name in my heart.............i got a HEART ATTACK

LOVE is like a CIGARIt starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends inashes... But dont worry - we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flowerur voice can be compared to a cuckoour inocence to a childbut in stupidityu have no comparisonu r the best

True love is like a pillowu can hug when u r in troubleu can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy so whenu need true love spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

when i call u;1 ring means i'm thinking of u;2 ring means i like u;3 means i miss u;4 means .........pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it toexclamatory sentence ...Student : WOW !

The human brain is most outstanding thing.......it functions 24hrs 365 days.....it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..A beer shortens your life by 4 min..A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the classStudent : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler committed suicide

Indians r business minded and smart....

It is because of the business sense demonstrated below.
An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see theloan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks andneeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such aloan, so the man hands over the keys ofa new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees to accept thecar as collateral for the loan. An employee drives theRolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and theinterest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officersays, "We are very happy to have had your business, and thistransaction has worked out very nicely,but we are alittle puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and foundthat you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you botherto borrow $5,000?"

The Indian replied,” Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeksfor 15 bucks?"Cheers!

Indians are Indians... Smart

Another shot in the Cola wars
















This is cool !!!!!! or is it a Master Piece Of Advertising Brainwork?
Take a look at this hoarding by Pepsi. This building is on TTK Road,Chennai. Coca Cola has taken 2nd floor for their sales & marketing office and have recently fixed a board. Two days later Pepsi put up a board on the same building where they have no retail outlet..!

WHY ME.............

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed : "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

The world over --

5 crore children start playing tennis,

50 lakh learn to play tennis,

5 lakh learn professional tennis,

50,000 come to the circuit,

5000 reach the grand slam,

50 reach Wimbeldon,

4 to semi final,

2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Be thankful to GOD for 98% of good things in life

Are you Fond of Honey ?

Why is HONEY golden in color?
A) Because of the Sun the flowers receive?
B) Because Flower Pollen is naturally Golden?
C) Because it's manufactured that way?
D) I don't know.

The answer may be found below.

A little lower...
Just a little lower now...
a little lower....






I can see you,
You are not working and Just Checking mails!


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