This one will help u in near future..

I had VODKA with WATER I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER I felt DRUNK.
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the World seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u an eye specialist !!

I wrote ur name on the sands.............it got washed away,I wrote ur name in air..........................it got blown away,So i wrote ur name in my heart.............i got a HEART ATTACK

LOVE is like a CIGARIt starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends inashes... But dont worry - we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flowerur voice can be compared to a cuckoour inocence to a childbut in stupidityu have no comparisonu r the best

True love is like a pillowu can hug when u r in troubleu can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy so whenu need true love spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

when i call u;1 ring means i'm thinking of u;2 ring means i like u;3 means i miss u;4 means .........pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it toexclamatory sentence ...Student : WOW !

The human brain is most outstanding thing.......it functions 24hrs 365 days.....it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..A beer shortens your life by 4 min..A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the classStudent : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler committed suicide